Declarations of Deepest Love
Wife: So men don’t tell other men “She’s the love of my life?”
Me: Not in my experience.
Wife: How about “She’s my Soul Mate”?
Me: I understand that those words are significant, but I really don’t know what they mean.
Wife: Guys say that stuff all the time on Grey’s Anatomy. So what do you say in real life?
Me: There was something this morning. We were talking about Bernie Wrightson. He’s an artist who draws zombies and werewolves and stuff. One of the guys has met him. He said, “Yeah, Uncle Bernie. You know, you better watch your lady around him.”
Wife: I don’t understand.
Me: Bernie Wrightson. Apparently he has a reputation…no idea if it’s true…a reputation either for flirting a lot, or being handsy.
Wife: So what?
Me: So watch your lady! Protect her butt from gropings!
Wife: Isn’t that something you’d want to do anyway?
Me: Yeah, but it’s Bernie Wrightson! He’s a legend. Protect her from this legend that you admire.
Wife: This is complicated.
Me: Yeah, sorry. How about “You complete me.”
Wife: Jesus Christ, shut up with that.
Sep 8th