Stuff I made. Stuff I like but didn't make. I can be reached at derekbensonart(at)gmail(dot)com.

Travel Advice from a Former Flight Attendant

robot-heart:

Earlier this week, someone asked me for travel advice in preparation for a 22-hour flight this weekend, which I can only assume will take them someplace fabulous. (I’m jealous.) So the following is my best advice to travelers.

  1. Avoid traveling on holidays. ;)
  2. Actually, traveling on specific holidays like Thanksgiving day and Christmas day, the days themselves, are pretty dead. I flew both those holidays last year and the airports were like post-apocalyptic ghost towns where the only thing you’re likely to run into is a zombie hungry for brains.
  3. Try to do some research on your airline’s schedule. If your flight is seriously delayed and you have connections, this is important. It’s good to know when the next flight to your destination is departing from your airport. It’s also good to research alternative flights that might be able to get you to your destination more quickly. This is a little involved, but believe me, this information can be invaluable when you attempt to do #4.
  4. Sweet talk the gate agents. This is key if you have delayed flights. If your gate has a line, don’t feel shy about going over to another counter for the same airline IF they aren’t busy. If you come ready with information and able to propose alternatives, gate agents are usually impressed. They can help you get on that alternative flight so you don’t end up spending the night in some icky by-the-airport hotel at your own expense. Don’t get upset if they’re rude, though. They can make your life miserable.
  5. Disregard #3 and #4 though if you bought your ticket through some budget website. Usually the terms and conditions of the ticket restrict you from taking other flights.
  6. Come to the airport armed with the patience of a saint, a well-charged MP3 player, and a book. Air travel is rarely timely, and on the weekends or holidays you can almost forget getting anywhere at the time printed on your ticket. Make sure you have plenty of things to do to keep you pre-occupied.
  7. Flying is hard on your body. Flying for several hours is REALLY hard on your body. My advice is to keep your 1-quart baggie of toiletries with you at all times. Make sure you have lotion, moist wipes, and a travel toothbrush. There were days that I only survived without wanting to kill myself (and all my passengers) because I had these items. Also drink lots of water and bring aspirin.
  8. Don’t depend on the flight attendants to keep you hydrated. Bring your own water. There is no guarantee you will get the required number of beverage services, and I’ve heard these days they’re charging for drinks.
  9. Dress in layers. You never know what temperature the plane is going to be, and it can change repeatedly over the course of a flight, as the pilots and senior flight attendants will do battle over the thermostat for the entire flight.
  10. Take night flights whenever possible and sleep on the plane. If it’s going to be a long flight, I’m not saying you should medicate yourself, but really…you should medicate yourself. (But don’t take Ambien. I’ve heard so many horror stories from FAs about passengers on that stuff. Over-the-counter car sick medication usually does the trick.) If you’re not willing to go that far, have a drink or bring some nice relaxing music. Whatever you do, don’t stay awake the whole flight. You’ll just drive yourself nuts.
  11. Those little neck pillows you can buy in the airport? Those are great. I also have seen people who bring beach balls and inflate those, throw a towel over it, and use them as giant pillows.
  12. Don’t get yourself so soussed up, though, they don’t let you on your next flight. The only people they are more lax about this with is people in wheelchairs. I had more than one over-medicated passenger in a wheel chair get on a flight while one of the FAs chatted on a cell phone with the passenger’s spouse, child, good friend about what to do with the all-but-comatose passenger on landing. But if there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re going to be grounded and that does not make for happy traveling.
  13. Put on your shoes when you go to the lav. No. Seriously. Put them on.
  14. Do not eat off the tray tables. If you drop something onto it, consider it lost forever. Those things never get washed. NEVER. Keep that in mind about pretty much everything on the plane except the lavs.
  15. Don’t overpack. I can not stress this enough. Try to pare down as much as possible. Even if it means you only bring the barest essentials in terms of make-up, clothes, shoes and accessories. It’s a pain to have to lug that stuff around.
  16. Finally, be nice to your flight attendants. Unless the person next to you is spewing bodily fluids or not breathing, don’t hit your call button. Say please and thank you. Remind yourself regularly that they can’t land a plane, and even if they could, they’re as much at the mercy of air traffic control as you are. Try not to complain. Any requests you have to make (can you please move me? the guy next to me has horrible BO!), do so as if you are enlisting them to help you out with a covert mission. They like being your partner in crime and not your servant. Do not ask them to run back and forth on errands for you. They spend half the flight pushing 100+ lb. carts in heels. If you can get up and do it yourself, it’s really the kind thing to do.

My favorite flight attendant blogs:

I can’t think of anything else. I know this is all pretty generic. In my defense, I’ve only flown once in the last six months, and I’ve flown much more as a professional than I have as a passenger. If you have any specific questions, though, just ask. I hope this was helpful.

 This is excellent information.  The bit on the trays alone is life-saving knowledge.