Onion Volcano

Last night there was a fire in my neighborhood. The blue car is...

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:17:29 -0400

Last night there was a fire in my neighborhood. The blue car is mine. The image is from the website of a local news channel.

Our neighbor’s house caught fire. Men were banging on our door at 2am. We took the kids down the street to our friend’s place, then ran back to see if our home would catch fire as well.

Four minutes after the 911 call, three fire engines arrived. My wife and I chanted “Go, go, go!” to the fire fighters. They had things under control very quickly. Next time I get that call asking for money, they’ll get some.

The family who lived there is on vacation. My wife left a message on their cel. At our friend’s house, my kids were frightened, then excited, then bored. We took them home after the fire died. They went to sleep at 5am.

My street is full of police cars and news teams. Thin women with grotesque makeup stand in front of cameras, rehearsing or going live. Occasionally I see my Ford focus on television. I left the house to ask the police what to expect. When I did, each news crew asked me if I would go on camera. They wanted to know if there was a cat, and if the cat had lived. They didn’t know anything else about the family.

During one such conversation, my neighbor returned my wife’s call. I walked quickly away from the news crews. I answered and told my neighbor that her home had been completely destroyed. She wanted to know what the police thought.

I told her that the police knew that her husband was a skip-tracer (a bounty hunter for people who break parole), and that they suspected he’d been visited by a former client. Also that the doors to the house had been wide open, unlocked, during the fire. That the police thought someone had broken in and done it.

She was relieved, because that meant the cat had been able to escape. Tough lady.

I want to leave today. Apparently a whole industry lives off of this; a smooth dude came up and gave me a card, telling me that his guys were going to “provide a complimentary boardup” to the house. He told me the place would be crawling with insurance adjusters and investigators.

I’d like to be there for my neighbors; our kids play with theirs and their surly teen mows my lawn. But I don’t know when they’ll be back. The firefighters say there’s nothing left. Just paperwork.

McCain on reinstituting military draft: "I don't disagree"

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:36:01 -0400

McCain on reinstituting military draft: "I don't disagree":

danelese:

riotrepublic:

Jesus Christ. (via misterpeace)

And here I thought Obama was the AntiChrist.

This draft thing? Holy cow, shouldn’t we be seeing this all over the news? I have family over there right now, and I have three kids. Not interested, thanks. If they want to go, that’s amazing and I honor it, but don’t send them over with a bunch of other kids who aren’t committed either.

In which Maureen Dowd makes it clear that she's completely flipping crazy.

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:40:53 -0400

In which Maureen Dowd makes it clear that she's completely flipping crazy.:

(via robot-heart)

What the hell was that? Satirical, sure, but what’s her target here?

jgh: ekrangel: wendyblackheart: Itchy Stitchy: FO and Pattern:...

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:28:18 -0400

jgh:

ekrangel:

wendyblackheart: Itchy Stitchy: FO and Pattern: Katamari Damacy Prince of All Cosmos Baby Hat!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I WANT TO NOM NOM AND HAVE IT ROLL UP ITS OWN LITTLE KATAMARI BALL. I CANNOT TAKE THE CUTENESS. I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT IN ALL CAPS.

meaghano: ee i’m cummings Reblogged for electric fur.

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:27:34 -0400

meaghano:

ee i’m cummings

Reblogged for electric fur.

Photo

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:43:16 -0400

Tuesday's Truncation Challenge

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:22:17 -0400

saramcpherson:

Can anyone think of a more succinct way to describe The Obnoxious Thing At The Store Entrance That Blows Air In Your Face To Keep Bugs From Coming Inside?

”Virtual Airlock.”

bikerfish: did anyone ever actually buy these? weren’t they just...

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:10:00 -0400

bikerfish:

did anyone ever actually buy these? weren’t they just tiny dried shrimp? I wanted them to build an underwater palace like in the picture.

I did. I could never see them; my mom told me they were too small. In later years I learned that they’d never lived to hatch. I’d been gazing anxiously at an empty fishbowl. You’re better off with Magic Rocks.

Earlier this year I made a game for the PS3. You fly a...

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 14:54:00 -0400

Earlier this year I made a game for the PS3. You fly a spaceship around and blast stuff; super innovative concept. I did all the art on it. Now it’s being released in Europe, and you can get “Trophies” like these if you excel at blasting the aliens. I liked making the trophies.

bikerfish: huh? I had a dessert at Applebee’s that made...

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 14:50:00 -0400

bikerfish:

huh?

I had a dessert at Applebee’s that made me feel this way.

picapixels: rul1ek75-1.gif

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:07:03 -0400

picapixels:

rul1ek75-1.gif

veadar: gkojaxlabo: gkojax: + ? mrmt

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:03:28 -0400

veadar:

gkojaxlabo:

gkojax:

+ ? mrmt

I NEED WHEELS

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 23:45:00 -0400

Laura: come over
CHVNX: No wheels or I would.
Laura: hitchhike here
CHVNX: It's raining and shit...no. Come here.
Laura: i know it's raining
Laura: and im all wet

(No, I will not delete this)

So GO already. This is like the Bat Signal! Get a kayak and Godspeed.

Apparently this isn't the first time the McCain camp has charged that his critics play D&D

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:21:14 -0400

Apparently this isn't the first time the McCain camp has charged that his critics play D&D:

robot-heart:

I wonder what his problem is, exactly, with people who play Dungeons & Dragons?

Excessive hotness.

What’s weird about this: the most passionate D&D guys I’ve ever met were military. The Coast Guard, especially; stuck in the Bering Strait with nothing to do? Bust out the miniatures. It’s either that or drink/barf.

"It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman’s..."

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:06:00 -0400

“It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman’s memory of war from the comfort of mom’s basement….”

- Michael Goldfarb

If anybody comes across something that deliberately nasty from an Obama spokesman point it out to me and I’ll write about it. But I don’t think you’ll be able to.

(via squashed)

If McCain doesn’t watch it, he’s going to offend every person who might possibly vote for him by coming out with snide remarks like these every time he wants to defend himself against a new critic. I want to say a lot more about this, but this kind of comment makes me so angry I think it’s best to keep my thoughts to myself. Regardless, I think positioning your critics as soft, pasty-skinned weaklings — when at 72, I hardly think McCain can be perceived as anything else — is a ridiculous play on machismo and what the McCain camp thinks it is to be a real man, which apparently is someone who will lie repeatedly to get ahead.

(via robot-heart)

Furthermore: so sorry, Mr. Goldfarb, that so much of your beloved country has nerds in it. We’ll pick up our funny dice, computers and book learnin so we can sneak out the back door before you give us a swirlie. Just take our taxes and let us get back to class, okay?

"It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman’s..."

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:00:39 -0400

“It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman’s memory of war from the comfort of mom’s basement….”

- Michael Goldfarb

…

If anybody comes across something that deliberately nasty from an Obama spokesman point it out to me and I’ll write about it. But I don’t think you’ll be able to.

(via squashed)

This actually makes me angry. I don’t think calling this into question is grounds for insult. There will be undecided voters who take issue with this statement; many of which don’t live in Mom’s basement and resent the implication that they do.

kapi: riotrepublic: Type your answer to the questions into...

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 18:59:07 -0400

kapi:

riotrepublic:

Type your answer to the questions into flickr search
-Using only the first page, pick an image
-Copy and paste each of the urls in the Mosaic Maker

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3.What high school did you go to?
4.What is your favorite color?
5.Who is your celebrity crush?
6.What is your favorite drink?
7.What is your dream vacation?
8.What is your favorite dessert?
9.What do you want to do when you grow up?
10.Who/ what do you love most in life?
11.Choose one word that describes you?
12.What is your Flickr name?

(via the sexy carlovely, who I could not give a proper reblog to in this instance)

Does Roll Call Work?

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:50:28 -0400

rollcall:

Roll Call, now 884 Tumblr users strong, was built to provide a new, inclusive way to discover people.

Does it work? Have you found new people to follow? Have new people found you? Do tell!

No new followers. Maybe because my avatar is a robot (I made him myself, though!) instead of a person. I’ve found some followers, people who look like they might be parents like me, frankly. Robot parents.

Have you ever seen an ugly fireman? No, thats because there arent any...

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:11:00 -0400

emmas:

You know what, I hate to sound like a desperate almost not quite yet leave it middle aged woman again, but firemen Helloo?

Im not sure why my local fire station felt the need to send three of their finest, and Im not joking, they were hot, to advise me on general safety etc this evening, but Im very glad they did and I shall be penning a firmly worded Thank you letter first thing.

And, even though I know that single women who go along to these things are severely desperate looking and just there for a cheap ogle > Hi?! I SHALL be attending the open day at the fire station at the beginning of next month.

What? They invited me. Im just being polite.

Thats if I dont manage to burn my house down before then.

Thanks.

Our local PTA fundraiser auctioned off a “Dinner at the Fire Department, Served by the Firemen themselves.”

My wife and I attended the auction. There was a lot of feminine yelling. The auctioneer’s wife kept trying to place a bid, and he pretended not to hear. The final bid was almost five thousand dollars. It wasn’t a single bidder, it was a hastily-organized group of women who combined their cash.

If I had the scratch, I’d start a theme restaurant.

Photo

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:26:27 -0400